Transcription:Jedi Master George W.
W. Bush is getting a check-up :Doctor: Mr. President, your vitals all check out fine. There is just one thing; your midi-chlorian count is extrordinarily high. :Bush: Does that mean that I'm one of them - whatcha call 'em - Jedis? then uses the Force to pull down the doctor's pants Heheheheheheh. change to Bush and his wife in bed; Bush runs his hand up and down the side of Laura :Laura Bush: Oh, not tonight, I'm tired, honey... :Bush: Jedi mind trick You're not tired; you wanna have a threesome! :Laura Bush: widen, under the influence of the mind trick I'm not tired; I want to have a threesome! :Bush: and picks up telephone Get me Condi! Heheheheh. change to a parking lot at a restrurant strongly resembling McDonalds; Bush is about to park his SUV when Bill Clinton shows up in his sports car and takes his spot. Bush rolls down his window to see what's going on. :Clinton: Oh, sorry "Dubyah", Big Mac attack! Yeeeee-whoooo! angry Bush uses the Force to lift Clinton and his car Hey, hey! Whoa! What the dilly?! drops him in a nearby pond :Bush: his SUV Heheheheheheh! change to Bush using a lightsaber to carve the words "W wuz hear" into the Lincoln Memorial :Bush: Heheh, saber beats rock! statue starts to rumble; Bush gasps What the hell?! :Lincoln Memorial raises up revealing a figure sitting underneath it, clouded by fog and a glowing white light; a machine lowers a top hat onto the figure's head; the figure turns around as a choir vocalizes, then reveals itself to be none other than Abraham Lincoln, who is a Sith :Lincoln: Who dares disturb my slumber? :Bush: Who dares question my daring of his dare? Jerk! :Lincoln: It is I... I who freed the slaves! I who indited-- :Bush: Boooriiing. Let's fight! draws his lightsaber and they begin to fight, passing by the Washington Monument. Bush corners Lincoln in the National Mall :Lincoln: If you strike me down, I shall become - raises his lightsaber for the kill wait a minute, let me finish! - attacks Lincoln with his lightsaber as Lincoln completely vanishes on contact with the saber, excluding his clothes Arrgghh! :Bush: That'll teach you, George Washington! change to Cloud City where Darth Vader told Luke Skywalker he is his father in "The Empire Strikes Back". Bush is on the platform Vader was on, while his daughter Jenna is on the catwalk Luke was on :Bush: Jenna, get over here right now! I AM YOUR FATHER! :Jenna Bush: That's not true! That's impossible! her father the finger My real father would let me clubbing as late as I want! :Bush: lightsaber Why you little -- off Jenna's finger :Jenna Buss: Owwwwww!! :Bush: Oh no, baby...I'm sorry! :Jenna Bush: slowly fades out as she falls Ah-Ahhhhhh! You suck! :Bush: NNNOOOOOOOOO-- change to Bush asleep on his desk in the White House Oval office; he wakes up :Bush: snores What?! Who? Was it just a dream...? :Senator: in Mr. President, we still haven't found any weapons of mass destruction! :Bush: two fingers, thinking he still has the power of Jedi mind control You have found weapons of mass destruction. :Senator: Uhh... hi. We haven't. :Bush: waving fingers You have! :Senator: sighs I don't know what you're doing. :Bush: fingers faster Bring me a taco. :Senator: Yes sir! to get a taco :Bush: Heheheh, tacos rule! Jedi Master George W.